candybarz93:

My mom just told me to go put a bra on because someone MIGHT come over.

MIGHT.

I HAVE NOT LEFT THE HOUSE ALL DAY AND DO NOT PLAN TO IF I WANT TO LET MY BOOBS FLOW IN THE WIND AS THEY RIDE THROUGH THE GLEN FIRING ARROWS INTO THE SUNSET I EFFING WILL.

damnthosewinchesterboys:

NO NO NO NO

fandomacepilot:

Repeat after me kids:

A relationship does not have to be romantic and/or sexual to be important. 

egg-rolls:

one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him

ghadaos:

“If you ride like lightning, you’re going to crash like thunder.”

lindsaylohoean:

2014 is in less than 6 months just let that sink in 

misha-let-me-touch-your-assbutt:

When your teacher is nice but can’t fucking teach

When your teacher is mean but teaches really good 

When you’re teacher is nice and teaches really well, but the class is full of fucking twats

When the students are well behaved but the Teacher is still a fucking bitch

when your teacher keeps getting replaced because it’s defence against the dark arts

When you’re singing alone on a golf course 

who’s got the chalk?

thelostchamberlain:

heavyxhand:

xviolenceagainstviolencex:

peanuhbutta:

pleatedjeans:

So, this half black/white kid got a tattoo of the Oreo barcode on his wrist

Why does it matter matter that this guy is mixed race!? You could of just written, “This kid”. Like his fucking skin colour matters! Cunt.

His bi-racial ethnicity is probably the point of the Oreo tattoo joke, cunt.

Which half is black and which half is white?

maxolines:

sassy-spoon:

nerdbird:

Google is definitely a woman, it starts suggesting things before you can even finish your sentence.

That must mean Bing is a man, tries to convince people it’s superior and does a horrible job with pleasing its user.

ineedtothinkofatitle:

aw

babyferaligator:

gastroclon:

babyferaligator:

what did the mama pig give her baby pig for its rash?

pigs are commonly known for rolling around in dirt, but there’s a reason for this. Pigs skin is very sensitive, the harshness of their environment can result in rashes and often sunburns. Bigs use mud to help relieve pain and protect their skin. Since piglets are even more delicate, mother pigs will often roll their pigs in mud right after birth.

NO THEY GIVE THEM OINKMENT